thoughts i keep.

random things and ideas I retain from books/podcasts/etc, and ways of thinking that guide my decision making

• clear is kind, unclear is unkind
• integrity is binary. you have it or you don’t, and it’s not situational
• treat people as an ends, not just a means to an end
• minimizing regret is a good objective function for decision making. the pain of rejection is nothing compared to the pain of regret
• culture is defined by the worst behavior tolerated
• it’s amazing what can happen when you don’t care who gets the credit
• there are 4 things needed for happiness - perceived control, perceived growth, connectedness, and being a part of something bigger
• there’s a false sense of security in being passive
• there’s what you do, how you do it, and why you do it. the why is the most important but the most overlooked
• it’s less about content and more about intent. two different people can tell you “your work is sh*t” and you would receive them differently depending on what you think their intentions are
• the strength of a relationship can be measured by the lag time between a problem surfacing and a problem being resolved
• phenotype is for hookups but genotype is forever
• it’s not worth glorifying the future to justify a miserable present
• you don’t get angry when you’re confident, you get angry when you’re scared
• pain that is not transformed is transmitted
• the most underrated tool of persuasion is curiosity
• it’s better to be loved by a dozen than liked by the hundreds
• you don’t get brownie points for being self aware
• the fear of consequences is always worse than the consequences themselves
• not belonging at school is hard, but it’s nothing compared to what it feels like when you don’t belong at home
• having emotions is always okay, acting upon those emotions is not. (ex. being frustrated is ok, rolling eyes and interrupting is not ok)
• the problem is not that we don’t know how to NOT get punched in the face. the problem is at some point, we got punched in the face and instead of punching back, we decided that we deserved it
• kill em with kindness